Sharon

In the separation anxiety training world, we talk a lot about things most people don't give a second thought to.  Intuitively, anyone living with a dog struggling with separation anxiety knows about pre-departure cues, but you don't always have a name for them.  When you put on your coat or shoes, and your dog starts to show signs of panic, this is a pre-departure cue. You know these things are important. Anything you do before leaving home is referred to as a pre-departure cue or a PDQ for short. PDQs are a big red flag to your dog that you will be leaving. A PDQ doesn't just happen right before leaving, either. Sometimes something you do hours in advance can become a PDQ.  When this happens, you may notice your dog become increasingly hypervigilant, begins following closely or starts to pant. So why are PDQs given such importance in separation anxiety training? Here's the thing - anything you do that provides a tip-off to your dog that you are about to leave is important to our training.  Dogs are very observant creatures.  They watch us. They read our body language extraordinarily well.  They know that we do certain things, it means that x, y, and z will follow. After all, we are creatures of routine as well. When we go to a certain cupboard, it means that a treat is about to be forthcoming.  When we get up from eating our meal, the dog predicts their dinner will be next. When we switch the TV off in the evening, it means it is time for bed. For most dogs, all these associations formed over the years predict happy things. But for our separation anxiety dogs, some of these things predict the worse thing they can imagine - you are about to leave, and they will be left at home alone. To make matters worse, these dogs learn a complex behaviour chain of multiple things predicting your departure.  Some dogs watch your every move. When you get out of bed in the morning, do you shower or do you change and go downstairs for coffee?  On days you leave the house, maybe you shower directly after waking.  But on the weekend, you wander downstairs and brew some coffee. You may start to notice on the days you shower first, your dog seems more clingy or watchs you more closely. Maybe you notice that they are panting more than usual. Now if after showering, instead of dressing for work, you change into sweats.  Now, what does your dog do?  Sweats mean you are hanging around the house, not going to the office.  Does your dog start to relax? What if you stop by your office and pick up your laptop on the way downstairs? Does your dog start to get concerned again?  These are the challenges of PDQs. When training, we must identify all the PDQs that matter to your dog.  Every dog is different.  Some dogs will have a long list…

Suspending absences is a critical and essential part of the separation anxiety training process. It is a temporary sacrifice that needs to be made, but it is not easy. This blog will give you some ideas on how to go about suspending absences during the training process. What is suspending absences?  During the training process, we need to prevent your dog from having over-threshold experiences.  When we are dealing with a dog with separation anxiety, the over-threshold experience is any time the dog is left alone and has a panic response. For separation anxiety, this includes: Vocalization includes barking, howling, whimpering, and whining. Scratching at or jumping up on the door. Running around the house searching for you or running from the door you left through to a window and back again. Damage to the home. House training lapses in an otherwise house-trained dog. Suspending absences means we don't leave the dog at home alone, except when we are training. Any time you need to leave your home, you need to find coverage for your dog.  For the majority of dogs, they are fine to be left with someone else.  This is good news. It is much easier to find coverage if your dog is fine with just about anyone.  It gets a bit tricky when your dog is hyper-attached to you.  If your dog is a velcro dog and only you will do, I will cover a few things you can do later in the blog that can help start the process of expanding your dog's world. Many common approaches to coverage include doggie daycare and pet sitters.  If your dog is fine with other dogs, then these options may work for you.  If your dog is not good with other dogs, you will have fewer options available to you, but still more than you think.  The last group of dogs are those that are fearful of new people. This is by far the most difficult category for suspending absences. Why is suspending absences so hard? It isn't always convenient - sometimes, it is difficult to get coverage at short notice or at times when commercial operations are not open, i.e. a Saturday night. It can become expensive to pay for daycare and pet sitters regularly. It takes planning and organization.  Spontaneity goes out the window. Friends or family may leave you without coverage if something comes up. You may not live in an area that has good daycare options. You may work in a profession where your hours are not 9-5, i.e. health care or shiftwork. You may work 12-hour shifts and can't drop off or pick up your dog as per the required schedule. You may be new to your area and don't have a network of friends and family nearby. You can be judged by others for trying to suspend absences, and become reluctant to reach out. Lastly, and most importantly, it is often really difficult to admit you need help and to ask for it.…

If you live with a dog suffering from separation anxiety, you will likely try anything to fix it.  Googling separation anxiety solutions can lead you down rabbit holes of outdated and punitive solutions that will not only not fix separation anxiety but are likely to worsen the situation.  Here are the six most common but bad pieces of advice my clients have received. Bark collars Bark collars range from citronella collars that squirt a powerful citrus spray into the dog's face to e-collars that give the dog a painful electric shock to the dog’s neck.  Both are intended to startle the dog to stop vocalizing. If your dog is barking because they are panicking about being left at home, then these devices will add to their anxiety and will only make the situation worse.  These are aversive tools and should never be used.  Their goal is to suppress behaviour. Some trainers actively use E-collars for a myriad of training solutions.  In my view, the use of shock collars has no place in modern dog training.  There is no room for any tool that's sole purpose is to hurt and harm the wearer. Be aware, the people promoting these tools will try to convince you that the collar tingles.  People send their dogs off to doggie boot camp and are amazed that the dog now comes when called.  All their dog needs to respond is to feel the tingle or the beep from the collar, and they listen. The unwitting dog parent has no clue in most cases that their dog has received multiple painful shocks to pair the shock with the tingle or beep. The only way these collars work is to pair pain with the vibration or beep.  There is no magic involved.  There is only pain. The dog feels the vibration or hears the beep and stops what they are doing in the expectation that they are about to be shocked. If you want to learn more about the use of punitive tools in training, I refer you to the website for the American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior position statements on the use of punishment in training.  Many progressive countries have banned these tools.  They are not available for purchase and cannot be used legally.  I hope one day, Canada will do the same. Startle devices Years ago, before I knew better, I thought startle devices were benign. Many years ago, I brought my golden retriever puppy home at ten weeks of age and crated her on another level of the house without a second thought.  I rigged up a can full of coins so when she barked, I would shake the can, scaring her into quiet.  It was genius, or so I thought.  At the time, I didn’t know better.  I listened to the rubbish espoused by TV trainers that today makes me sick. I still regret every day what I did to my puppy, and I vow that I will never make any dog in my…

Regressions and plateaus are a reality when we are doing behaviour modification.  They are frustrating and difficult when they happen, but they are a normal part of separation anxiety training. Here you are working through your separation anxiety training program.  Everything is going well.  Your progress is slow, but you are making progress.  You are starting to feel confident that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  And then it happens!  You hit a wall.  Suddenly there is no forward movement.  You can’t build any duration.  You bounce up and down around the same level, or worse, you go backwards. You have hit the dreaded plateau or regression.  These setbacks can be soul-destroying.  You begin to question the process.  You start to doubt that you will ever get there. Your mind starts to go to the dark place of ‘what-ifs.’  What if we can’t fix this? What if I can’t keep my dog?  What if….? Everything has fallen apart. Nothing's working anymore, and you lose confidence – in your dog and the process.  Your dog seemed to have been gaining some confidence, but now it appears they are just as worried and 'needy' as they were when you first started! 'What's going on here??  Ugh, we were doing so well!' There seems to be this speed bump in the learning process that causes a hiccup when you reach a certain point. It's like both dogs and humans lose oomph. Our motivation has left without a goodbye wave, and we have trouble convincing it to return. Regression and plateaus happen.  They can happen more than once through the training process. They can happen if the dog is on behaviour medication and when they are not.  They can happen slowly, or they can happen without warning and fast.  They can happen when you are doing everything right. They happen, and when they do, it is so frustrating. What is a regression? Regression is a setback in training.  It is when your dog previously was doing great and now can't be left for hardly any time at all. I don't know what is more soul-destroying - hitting a regression early in training or after you have achieved some freedom. Early regressions are hard because you are slogging through the early stages of training, questioning whether you will ever be able to leave your dog alone, and a regression happens.  You haven't even gotten out of the gates and are already going backwards. A regression happening later is just as bad.  By this time, you have built up some time and maybe cautiously optimistic that the worst is behind you and BAM!!!, now your dog can't be left for a fraction of the time. Both types of regressions happen, and none of them are fun. What is a plateau? A plateau, while less dramatic, is no less hard to navigate. A plateau means you have hit a limit.  No matter what you do, you have hit the ceiling of what your…

Long before COVID pushed everyone online, separation anxiety dog trainers successfully resolved separation anxiety cases virtually through remote training. Online dog coaching continues to be the future of separation anxiety training programs. One of the more common questions a potential client asks is, 'Will you come to my home to help me?’. The short answer is ‘No.’ Separation anxiety training is done remotely using tools like Zoom or Skype; there are some good reasons for this. Technology has been a game-changer in the resolution of separation anxiety. Trainers used to have to stand outside with one ear pressed to the door, listening or subtlely trying to peek through the window without the dog seeing them - how things have changed! Pet cameras, streaming videos, and shared folders have fundamentally changed the way we work. This allows us to be more effective and responsive, thus achieving far greater resolution rates than previously thought possible. If you are living with a dog suffering from separation anxiety, you will often need to reach out to someone specializing in this complex behaviour. Many trainers do not take on separation anxiety cases. Canine separation anxiety cases are notoriously difficult cases to resolve. The level of support your separation anxiety trainer will provide to you as the client far exceeds the support provided in almost any other form of dog training. Most specialist trainers started in general dog training and consciously pursued this specialty. Some end up here because they live with a separation anxiety dog. Others, like myself, chose this specialty to work exclusively with dogs suffering from fear and anxiety. A certified separation anxiety trainer (CSAT) has studied under the foremost expert in treating separation anxiety - Malena De Martini. Through the CSAT training program, we have learned and been graded on our ability to accurately read canine body language remotely. We can guide you on camera placement to ensure nothing is missed. We will help you learn your dog's body language so that you know what to look for when you are watching. As we work through the desensitization program together, and when you get to leave your house, you are equipped with the skills to monitor your dog remotely to ensure that they remain under their threshold. We are also well equipped to advise you when your veterinarian needs to be involved or if we need to seek the advice of a veterinarian behaviourist. If necessary, we can guide you through the behaviour modification training while behaviour medications are onboarded. In the post-COVID world, most of us long to get back to in-person interactions. Your separation anxiety trainer, however, will be just where they always have been – online. Here are the top 5 reasons why virtual separation anxiety training is the best approach to resolve your dog's behaviour for you and your dog! Online separation anxiety training eliminates the 'trainer effect.' The trainer effect is the magical transformation of your dog when the trainer walks through your door. There are good reasons why this transformation happens, but the bottom line is that…

If you live with a dog with separation anxiety, you already know it is hard.  Feeling the guilt of having to leave your dog knowing they will suffer.  Not knowing what you will come home to – damage to your home, a stressed-out dog, or an angry neighbour.  All these things take their toll on you. The biggest advantage of working with a separation anxiety specialist is that I am with you every step.  I tell you what to do and when to do it, and I am your shoulder to cry on and your biggest cheerleader. You may not have the support of friends and family.  They may tell you that your dog will get over it.  That you need to let your dog cry it out.  Maybe they even suggest using a bark collar to suppress your dog’s barking. Maybe your family blames you, saying that you caused your dog’s separation anxiety because you spoil them, you let them sleep on your bed or the furniture.  Your dog is acting out; it is your fault because you aren’t tough enough. You are feeling frustrated, angry, and resentful.  You are missing out on events and family gatherings. Friends and family think you are overreacting. You google everything you can to find the solution.  You are beginning to question yourself. You are wondering how long you can let this go on. It is becoming expensive.  You have to pay for daycare and pet sitters. It is inconvenient. You must constantly plan to make sure your dog isn’t going to be alone. You are arranging your life around your dog, juggling commitments and appointments, and it is making you angry. Why you?  Why is your dog doing this?  Don’t they know you always come back? Don’t they know they are safe? When you brought your new puppy home, you had dreams. Long walks on a sunny day.  Play dates with other doggie friends. Snuggles on the couch while watching a movie. You were ready for the chewed shoes, the housetraining accidents, and even the sharp puppy teeth.  But you were not ready for this.  The dreams have turned into a nightmare.  A nightmare that you never seem to wake up from. You love your dog, but it is all becoming too much. And you are right.  It is a nightmare.  Your dog is suffering, but you are suffering too. Separation anxiety is hard.  It is hard to live with.  It is expensive, and it feels like you will never have a normal life again. But separation can be resolved, but it will take time. Read my blog on the Reality of Separation Anxiety Training I want you to know that you will have found a supportive place when you reach out to me.  I hear you, and I am here to help you. As a separation anxiety specialist, I have heard it all. I will tell you: The process is slow. It is going to take longer than you think. We…